“WARNING” – I am not much of a writer so please excuse the grammar errors, and read at your own educated risk..
Yes you read right, Bloody Married!!!
Did I know this when I consented to go out with him? Of course not! Why would they tell you that.. You have to play detective really, and look/listen for clues.
I should state first that I have a few rules that I follow for myself.
- No men that are unemployed – this came into the rules later in life.
- No men that live at home – Your grown, get your own place, do your own laundry!
- No drug addicts, alcoholics, pedophiliacs, rapist, psychopaths, transvestites, bi-sexual, meglomaniacs, science experiments (we will get to this one later) or murders
- and finally NO MARRIED MEN PERIOD!!! not even men with girlfriends. If you want someone new break it off with the current one first, you wimp!
So with this all in play, minus the “no men that are unemployed” which came to me later in my dating world, I consented to go on a date with this handsome, charming yet Married man ( just a reminder: I did not know he was married) and did I mention handsome? well it’s worth mentioning again, I mean scrumptious handsome with a body like Van Damn in his younger days (only chocolate in color).. Yummy : P Oh and a military man, Marine Corps to be exact.
We planned the date for a weekday evening, Yeah that should have been my 1st sign, and it didn’t go unnoticed, I tucked it away in my Red flag file awaiting further evidence, after all this was hardly enough to even swear out a warrant..
DATE NITE: Whoo Hoo I was excited, we had talked often since we met and I was ready to have face to handsome face time, with a few looksies at the Van Damn body.. What?… I’m a single woman who appreciates a man who works hard to have a body like that, and secretly hoped he would show up in his fruit of the loom boxer briefs, in a nice shade of red (symbol of fire, passion, and yes that word that begins with S and end’s with x), but we are far from that crossroads.
The time has come.. I’m looking classy and a little sexy if I do say so myself… I don’t give myself compliments often but this night it was hard not too. He pulls up in his white Lexus, oh yeah nice car but what do i care i won’t be driving it, EVER! I wait for him to ring my doorbell and act as though I was still calmly getting ready..
RRRRRT! calmly? yeah right.. I changed my outfit at least 7 times, couldn’t find the shoes to go with my final outfit choice, but then who would in the massive collection of shoes I own all thrown in the bottom of my closet, and the guest bedroom closet,,,, and the small hallway closet. We, wont even get into the handbags, which when you buy shoes you absolutely have to buy a handbag to go with.. Hey it’s my logic, fuzzy as it may be, it works for me : ) anywho after finding the shoes and the handbag I had to get the curlers out of my hair.. Another nightmare to the beginning of the evening. My hair is long and yep you guessed it when taking them out a few got caught up in my hair of which i now looked like a treasure troll with my hair fuzzy and sticking up all over. So yeah… Calmly my foot.
Door bell rings and I nearly fall down the steps in these frigging heels to answer it. “Calmly” my foot. I open the door and, Oh Mother Mary does he look fantastic. As I am looking him over, need i remind you again he has a body like young Van Damn??? Didn’t think so, he ask me if he could use my bathroom. I pointed the way and watched him as he walked up the steps, ahhh what a viewwww oh my god my bathroom is a mess!! What could I do? I couldn’t tell him to STOP what he was doing and have him move to the clean bathroom. I would just have to hope his at his home is messy also and he felt right at home, he he hell, this was my first black mark with him.
Black Mark– when first meeting, some people keep marks on such things as; the good and bad things people do, say, how they live, clean, MESSY BATHROOM, dirty, even on how they act in public and alone, and also on manners. Men and women do this, its our score board for how compatible you are, or how much can we tolerate. Bad = black mark, Good = gold star.
I’m black marked : ( “Fudge Buckets” I hear the toilet flush and the sink water running, humm; hey at least he washes his hands : ) GOLD STAR for him. : / Now I am a little competitive so I couldn’t let him get a gold star for washing his hands while I know I got a black mark for a messy bathroom, so I had to step my game up, humm that’s going to be hard in these heels, but they look great : )
So we are off, finally.. We head to a restaurant that turns slowly on top a tall building. Beautiful place, so fancy, and I dressed just right, Gold Star for me. Game stepped up..
As the evening progressed, we went from dinner to walking around town, to sitting on a bench talking. Now I am thinking this whole time, we are 20 mins north of where we both live, I don’t see a wedding ring or any sign of one that may have been on that infamous finger that could
A- ward of most people like a leper, or
B- be mistaken for the middle finger when stuck up, I love that : )
Then it happened as he dropped me off at my door. Yeah Yeah the kiss happened, and whoa can the man kiss and he does have a bubble bum. I didn’t touch I just rested my hands at the top of it, *giggles*
Get back to what happened, right? ok ok…
He asked me out for that Saturday night! Yeah Saturday Night, he can’t be married if he’s asking me out for a weekend night and that very weekend after our first date. I grabbed him planted a huge kiss on him and yes grabbed a hand full o bum this time and told him absolutely! I would love to see him again.
Take that, Red Flag folder. It looks like we can tuck you far far away.. I guess?
Now, I am one that will think about a date or situation after it happens and this date was no exception. I couldn’t get out of my mind the date that was 20 minutes north of where we live.. For some reason that bothered me, but i didn’t know why, so I guess I needed that Red Flag folder again after all.. But still not enough to swear out a warrant.
I did better preparing for this one. I decided I would not try to curl my hair and just let it be, thank god it didn’t take on a life of its own.. Oh and I didn’t have a messy bathroom.. So I was ready… The Shoes? I bought a new pair, ah ha : P
Doorbell and I am ready, lets not trip going down the steps again and this will be a good start, no black marks for me tonight, only gold stars. I open door and again he looks too damn good, almost as good as me, maybe even better. I wait for him to ask to use the bathroom, ready to show him I am a clean and tidy person.. waiting, waiting….. Nothing! OK, off we go then, no redemption with Messy Bathroom for me tonight.
This nite we went further north into the city, we hit a couple of clubs, danced and had some drinks, then went for steak and eggs. I figured that he couldn’t be married if he was staying out til 3am with me and on a Saturday nite! He didn’t once look at his phone or his watch except to see if we could still get steak and eggs.. OMG!! they were so good and in a hole in the wall type of place, amazing..
Again door drop off service, Kiss kiss kiss kiss, and more kissing, He’s a great kisser, and hands were a little all over the place this time, His too! geez I got curves and a bubble bum also.. We almost knocked each other off the dance floor a few times with our bubble bums. Anywho, as we wrapped it up I waited for the date of our next date, and got… I will call you!! whoa, wait… you what? is going in my head, as I smile and say OK. I get into the house and begin to fall into bed still dressed, not really wanting to think about what just happened, but rather in the mood for sleeeeep.
A week goes by and I have heard nothing from this Van Damn, Damn him, look-alike only chocolate. I decide its time to pull out the heavy artillery, Girlfriends and Guyfriends.. I need to talk this out with them and get advise on what I should do..
Personally, one side of me is thinking.. He could be out in the field this week, though he didn’t mention it and that would be the sort of thing you would mention, and hey I got two good dates out of this so no biggie,
However the other side is thinking… that rat bastard, sneaky snake, basketball shaped bum with nice legs ( I felt them) and great shoulders, get back on track Melyssa, blue balled skunk. Has moved on. (buzzard bait)
Friends view? Well there is two sides the girls and the guys, both very different as if we didn’t figure that out in 2nd grade. The girlfriends say let the bastard go, it’s his loss, I can do better… you know all the normal stuff. And they believe he is married, just on the fact that he took me miles away for the dates. I’m still undecided on that subject and still tucking it away in the Red Flag Folder of my mind. They even went as far as to state that him not contacting me was another sign he was married. Humm really, it couldn’t be anything else? I ask. They wouldn’t have it, it is what it is, he’s a cheating married, bastard, that lost out on me and is not good enough for me. Ok, how about the guys point of view on this matter.
Quite different I assure you. They don’t believe he shows signs of marriage at all, in fact they don’t see what the problem is.. Hello!! I haven’t heard from him in what is now over a weekkk… They told me that he might be in the field since he is military, and the taking me north from where we live makes since, we have no good, date worthy restaurants to go to around our way, so he just making sure to give me a good time and impress me with his restaurant picking skills. Ok this makes a little since looking at it from a guys point of view. Benefit of doubt given..
I let it go for a while and then, I seen him out at the movie place,,,, with another woman. I am not one to make a scene in public so I stayed calm and went about my business, until, there he was in my face asking me how I have been. Immediately my head tilted to the side, and the hand went to the hip, Yeah the WTF stance. He began to explain why he hadn’t called, something about late duty and double duty and car issues yadda yadda. Funny how I heard nothing about his phone not working or a broken hand so he couldn’t dial the phone, give me something here I can grasp onto.
I asked who the girl was throughout his reasonings for not contacting me. Finally I asked a little louder and with a little anger in my voice at being ignored thus far. We stood in silence for a bit and then he told me he was there with friends and she was his friends date. OOOooo good one, not! But I was exhausted with the matter so I let it go and went on with my night.
2 Weeks Later the White Lexus pulls into my driveway. I’m lounging in my sweat pants and tank top, hair in a bun, glasses on reading…. Cat in the Hat… to my nephew! hey that can be some tough reading with all the rhyming that goes on, you twist your tongue in a knot and tell me, It was easy!
Doorbell rings and I sit there contemplating… should I ignore it or open it.. My curiosity wants to know what he is doing there, my want to just make it go away doesn’t care. Curiosity won, that damn disease. I open the door, man did he look pathetic with his head hanging low and the sad puppy eyes, not working here bub.. I show him where to go and we sat in akward silence while he looked at me as if trying to figure out what to say to change it all. His first words were typical – You look nice! yeah in sweats with a hole and a paint stain, I look nice.. Ok moving on..
He continued his explaination from the night at the movies, with the girl was his friends date, and – there I stopped him and stated that he had time to go out with them but none to call me and just say hello? There goes the stumbling over the words, he did it so well, wow he must get into this predicament alot. He eventually gives up trying to explain himself and by this point I am remembering how handsome he is and just wanting to put this silliness behind us.
We spent the evening laughing, watching TV and yes, he stayed the nite.
Well most of the night.. At about 2am I hear a beating on my door and some yelling. As I get up my phone rings, it’s my neighbor, short info on her, we need no police or neighborhood watch team, she is that all in one little nosiy package… She tells me some woman is at my front door yelling and beating my door, with kids in her car.
I get better clothed and answer the door to a tall redheaded woman yelling in my face, where is he I know he’s here and I want him here right now. I ask who are you referring to and she smacks me in the face. Yes I got smacked.. after the shock wore off but not the sting, that woman had some sting to her smack, man that was smart… I told her I would like her to leave right now.. She still demanded I get her man.. I finally got tired of the guessing game and with a hard stern voice I asked for the last time WHO THE HELL IS YOUR MAN!!
Finally she answered his name and called him her HUSBAND. I guess I looked shocked, I felt my mouth drop and my anger rise… That rat bastard, bleep, bleep, cheating bleep, I thought it was strange, that cheeky sod. I was so fuming mad I could have operated a steam engine from VA to Oregon and back. I asked her to wait outside on the porch a minute.. He must have heard all that was said because when I got to the room he was dressed and getting his things togeather. He walked past me without muttering a word or even looking at me and out the front door he went.
Married! MARRIED! Damn it Melyssa your red flag folder had its suspicions, now it had definate proof, Warrant is now able to be filed, and served.
This Warrant is for Melyssa, You are hereby guilty of dating a Married man, which goes against your moral rules. Your sentence, eating cookie dough ice cream, pooh slippers, tv remote and the movies Bridget Jones Diary and 10 Things I Hate About You. Oh, and beating yourself up for not listening to your intuition. Bloody Hell!
Red Falg Folder – improtant thing to have it stores all your suspicions, intuition, and the little alarming facts that add up to the real truth.